Back at the Ashram

Today was one of those sublime, glorious, beautiful days.

In the orchard this morning, I was thinning the apples to help the fruit grow better. I was lost in the arms of the trees. The three-dimensional juxtaposition on my field of vision of the many branches of varying distances, all seeming to move at different rates when I turned my head, as well as the veins of the leaves glowing at me backlit by the sun, illuminated with tiny reflective hairs at their edges, all combined to give me that feeling of awe that Reality Itself is all around me and that I am really here, really alive on this planet.

Thinning the apples, as an activity, also gave me some reflections. Taking off the apples that are diseased or that aren't getting enough light allows the tree to channel the energy more efficiently, for better fruit. That is pretty much what I am trying to do with myself, here, only ideally without attachment to the fruit!

Sometimes, there would be two or more apples in the terminal growth that all looked strong and healthy and good, but I would have to choose just one to keep. I'd have to make a choice. It reminded me of how, in my life, I often try almost compulsively to keep as many options open as possible, sometimes going out of my way or wasting energy to do so. With the apples, I have to have confidence that whichever one I choose to keep will be the right one, and in life it's faith that reminds me I'm safe and protected, even without every door open. I don't really need that many escape routes from myself, after all, and besides, if I spend all my time holding all those doors open, how will I ever walk through one?