Dhanurasana

The Bow. Like bow and arrow. Like Sagittarius. Like Robin Hood.

Robin Hood. I've always wished I could be a hero for myself and others. But I tell myself I can't, that I'm not strong enough. I usually feel like I would need to be stronger to be able to embody my heroic ideals. So I try to force it. Grrr! The result? Rigidity, not strength.

In The Bow, one lies on the stomach, holds the ankles with the hands, and lifts the hands and feet up while looking farther and farther forward. According to the instructions, this pose requires me to balance flexibility with strength. What strength? I feel so weak. Usually I try to get into the pose by brute force, straining to lift my legs up behind me. Grrr! The result? No power... groan, grrr, wind down, dead batteries: I'm still on the floor, unable to even imagine lifting up.

Now, one of the things yoga is about is the union of opposites. What are my opposites? And how do strength and flexibility relate to them? Since kindergarten, I have been consciously attempting to get my masculine self in balance with my feminine self. Flexibility, openness, receptivity... these "feminine" traits are at the core of my being and they have allowed me some amazing experiences throughout my life. But until recently, my masculine side has kept these delicate creatures carefully protected. My strength, which in childhood was my precocious rational-intellectual ability, has been allowed to do the talking since that was such an advantage in terms of getting me through my interactions with my confusing world. No wonder I sometimes feel weak! There's nothing tough about being a bookworm!

Yet in the Bow, I'm supposed to balance my opposites. I hadn't gone into the Bow since last fall, before my freakish illness and bizarre recovery experiences began to open up a leading role for those softer aspects of my nature. I didn't know what to expect going into the pose now. I relaxed and reached my arms back, clasping my feet. For the first time, it seemed obvious to use my super-snap-back-ability and bennnd my spine baaack while lifting up, only then using strength to stabilize myself in the pose and lift higher. In other words, for the first time in this pose I was leading with my flexibility and assigning a supporting role to my strength.

Ta-da! It was easy to come up when I used my resources in this new and different way. Is this my real balance? Am I more at home when I let my softness lead my way? In this new balance, my flexibility becomes my true "strength" and my strength acquires the "flexibility" to step back and be supportive, instead of pushy.

Maybe I can be stronger when I use the strength I do have instead of focusing on the strength I don't. Maybe I can hit my targets if I let my soft side feel my way forward, instead of squinting into the distance, hardening myself, gritting my teeth, and pushing. Maybe the strength I already have IS enough for me to be a hero after all, if I remember to use it supportively and let my gentleness lead the way.

I'm such a gentle hero that my bow shoots flowers instead of arrows! And they hit the spot!