The Padded Truth

Today I tried to buy a bra.

If you know me or have read previous posts, you will know that I've recently lost a lot of weight, and not on purpose either (though I am enjoying my new skinny life). So anyways the tight squishy sports bras that I usually wear still fit fine... they are one-size fits all, after all! But my fancy ones, for wearing at job interviews and with certain more formal clothes, are too big around the ribs now that I'm a scrawn-dog. So I thought I would get another fancy one, one that would fit. And besides I heard there was a sale. Sometimes, as a female, it is socially good to look more feminine, i.e. looking like I have two seperate breasts that are the fashion-designated shape... instead of what I usually wear, which I have learned is closer to "binding" than actual bra wearing. Apparently "binding" is pretty popular in Taiwan, though from personal experience at the bath house I would say Russians have more need for it. The term has a range of meanings and one of them refers to the use of tight sports bras or other materials to squish your breasts, making your upper body look sturdy while decreasing the amount of attention paid to your breasts by people in your environment. People do it for lots of reasons including transexual reasons, but I did it unconsciously.

So today I went to the bra store and was I ever shocked! And I thought I was shocked last time. Last time I bought these things, I was surprised that the bras made of regular cloth were no longer available. It was thick foam instead. Well today I was shocked again - not only are most bras still made of thick foam instead of regular cloth, but, ah, the foam is now like an inch thicker at the bottom of the cup: the traditional "falsie" spot.

The store workers seemed shocked and dumbfounded when I asked where the bras were that did not come with such thick padding. It seems that over a few short years they had forgotten such things had ever existed. They had to really search. They had to "go look in the back." They finally found... one. (A red satin one.)

One worker with huge false eyelashes and a huge false smile announced in a very loud false whisper: "Actually we DO sometimes have them without the thicker padding!!! But normally not in your size!!! We have them sometimes for D and E cups tho!" Ok, so I guess that means my breasts are too small and I need padding to be seen in public. My mind buzzes. Right, C is definitely too small... especially my little 32C or 34C, which is, after all, a lot smaller than a more normal 36C or 38C that your average lady wears. But wait, (deep breath) that 38C would now automatically come with extra padding too, and... isn't C the most commonly worn bra size in the world anyway? Ok (deep breath) I don't feel so personally targeted after all. I guess someone has randomly decided that we all have to look an inch thicker than we really are.

I feel somewhat opposed to this concept. I mean what the fuck, right? It seems so false.

Don't be so negative, dear self. Maybe I should go easier on the bra industry. False, maybe, but not a complete lie. There are still actual breasts inside that bra. So it's still the truth. But, I protest, it's the padded truth!